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If you've been here for any length of time, it's pretty easy to believe that I do not like rules. Or, okay- I don't like rules that I think are ridiculous (and trust me, I'm always right).
When I was in sixth grade, one of my friends "came out" to me as a witch. It blew my young mind: A Witch??? You can just do that??? It seemed like you'd need some sort of outrageous ceremony or some higher power gifting such a blessing upon you (Sandra Bullock & Nicole Kidman were jumping off of roofs, for crissake!!)- but, no, on that day, I learned that you can just "be" a witch, and that sense of autonomy sneaks up and surprises me still, even at 31 years old.
I've lived the majority of my life trying to fit into categories and boxes, trying to follow (some) rules and appease expectations- spoken or not. Hell, I've been drawing and writing stories for almost my entire life and just seven or eight months ago, I realized that there is nothing stopping me from pursuing my dreams of sharing my stories in really big ways (through, y'know, intentional crafting and even publishing!! Eek!)- sure, there will be obstacles, but nothing is actually stopping me from doing the work to do what I love, and realizing that in itself was a moment of pure freedom.
The entire idea of embracing my own voice completely changed my relationship with tarot readings, shaping my own path for my own spirituality has opened up so much more to me in ways that I am so grateful for. I used to hesitate in saying I was a witch because I "didn't practice witchcraft"- but that wasn't even true; for the last twenty years, I have been practicing witchcraft, there just weren't any wands or herbs or magical moon water. It was the chants I had to do in order to overcome my chronic panic attacks, it was the way I saw and valued my connections to others, it was in the way I would hold my breath and take a step into something new and terrifying, if only to follow my heart and curiosity.
See, "Being" is much more powerful than simply saying it, Being is Living that truth. I wouldn't "be" a witch if I didn't want to, I wouldn't "be" an artist or a musician if I didn't want to. The choices we make to pursue these paths fuel this "being"- so why not put your name on it? Who cares if the entire world says your Elder Runes should be carved into stones, bones, or wood- if you want those pink, sparkly ass runes, Get It! Girl, who is monitoring how many times a year you actually pay attention to the moon cycles? What Witch Organization is coming to visit at random times to ensure your altar isn't a Catch All- or if you even have one? These spell books and introduction to Craft is all guidelines and ideas- inspiration to spark your own unique traits and goals for your spiritual path! The extent of my Craft at the moment is saying "Thank you" at anything listening at any given moment in the day, and some days, it's just having a moment for myself and taking a deep breath to remind myself where and who I am (still figuring it out- details to come).
It can be so overwhelming to try and fit to "The Standards of Witch Craft" (and other aspects of our lives), and sometimes, it can even be exciting! I have enthusiastically chomped at books of Rituals and Blessings for different times of the year, and don't even get me started on how much I desperately want to celebrate Pagan Holidays! But after I stopped taking myself so seriously, and started to be honest with what I was capable of doing, I really started to appreciate what I DO achieve. Instead of feeling like I've wasted another "holiday season" or failed to "do something meaningful" for a certain amount of days, I was happy to enact my own ways of doing what I wanted to do.
And Good God, I no longer lie to myself and attempt to do anything that requires a routine for a certain amount of days (this includes tracking anything from food, to dreams, to moods- but excludes blogging for now, I guess), because that only leads to my self-created disappointment, and I'd much rather not do that to myself at all. Now days, if I can catch a New Moon, I'll take note of what I'm manifesting. If I am a few days late on my monthly tarot journal, I do it anyway, with as much enthusiasm as I have for any time before when I've remembered to do it before the new month. If I happen to see a candle nearby while doing a reading, I'll light it. It's okay, I'm still taking strides in this journey of mine, and because it's mine, I get to make the rules. And that means I also get to break them!