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Same Ol' Tay: Returning to a year-abandoned project, three months (Edit: Now five months, which we can all laugh at) into a new year, casually rolling through and acting as though I didn't drop off the face of the Earth.
Recently, I got my hands onto a book called Please Understand Me (2), and I was really excited about the opportunity it presented to chomp into the Myers-Brigg 16 Personalities; as a writer with a passion for character development, I was looking to this book as some sort of resource that I could pick through at my own pace and perhaps nab some ideas or have some things click for me when it came to wrangling up my characters. However, I was met with the extremely surprising gift of relief and acceptance when I had taken the little quiz and found my personality's section.
ENFP: The Champion
For the first time in my life, I had A Something see the mess that is Tay, pat me on the head and go, "You're exactly as you're meant to be".
This might be an extremely underwhelming and maybe insulting idea for some folks; being acknowledged as a walking disaster- hell, it might even be enabling to some- and being told that's Just Who I am? Wow. This book read me to filth and I was grateful for it!!
Because I have been made to feel bad about myself my whole life- as if my short attention span was my fault! Like my lack of follow through is a choice! I've always felt like my "flaws" (or, these inconvenient-for-others qualities) were being nailed into my character, that I was doomed to be flaky and lazy, doing absolutely nothing with my life and with nothing to show. All because I'm a well of ideas and inspiration. Because I have a Right-Now-or-Never kind of memory. Because I'm the spark at the tip of the fuse and not the entire stick of dynamite, the match, and everything else too.
This book made me realize I'm not supposed to be. WE are not supposed to be everything! What would even be the point of all of this living if we were all able to do everything, all the time, at any given moment? Life is strange and often painful, but being 100% perfect? No thanks, that sounds boring as hell, and my motivation is fleeting enough as it is.
We feed each other in so many valuable ways; from the briefest interactions, to the most strenuous relationships, we are constantly soaking in lessons while giving others our own. We are constantly forming unions to tackle life's barrage of problems and obstacles! A "weakness" of mine can easily be utilized by another! Listen: How many of you have trouble grasping an idea, but once you're working, you see it through to the end? Sounds like you could use a spark of inspiration! And hey, I know just the dude (me!!)! On our own, we will inevitably run into frustrations and road blocks, we need support to fully realize our potential.
So the next time you're starting to feel down on yourself for not knowing, not doing, not "enoughing"- remember you're a single person, and your gifts (your strengths AND weaknesses!) fit into a bigger picture. You're exactly as you're meant to be, mess and all.
This post brought to you by: A Libra