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With every new chapter in our lives, one must close.
The most necessary and impactful endings seem to come at such a high cost. Stress, grief, hopelessness... the mourning our minds and bodies are capable of is incredible when it comes to such endings. But we have to go through this process in order to cleanse ourselves and prepare for the amazing pathways that are opening up to us after our moments of defeat.
Accepting failure is difficult- finding that balance in one's mind can feel impossible, where does "failure is inevitable" begin and "why bother" end? In a world where we are bound by delusive rules, perfectionism strangles us all. Even the messiest of us (hello!!!!), the most chill- no one is immune to the pressure to Be Strong!! Do it on your own!! to some degree... or many.
How do we unlearn this garbage?? So far, the only answer I have isn't a very confident one, but it's something I follow daily: Just Try. ("There is no try, only do", or whatever Yoda said, was stripped of all nuance, and that's a hill I'd rather not die on, but I will if I have to.)
They say being aware of a problem (or situation, I would argue in this context) is the very first step. And that feels like such a powerful first step here- if we are not yet aware of the way the outside world influences our thoughts, beliefs, and values... how in the hell do we expect to take control of anything at all? To even know what we want our lives to look like?
Spring is just around the corner and already I have done some terrifying spring cleaning. Sure, I'd really prefer to just donate some old clothes and trinkets that don't suit me anymore- but following my heart and passions include crawling out of the pits of retail hell, and ignoring this, as I have always done, just makes unnecessary defeat inevitable.
Moving forward, I'm embracing the power of The Fool; accepting that I am lost as all hell but greeting each day and each opportunity as a chance to try new things and learn from my failures. Because accepting failure feels a lot better when it's written into my plans; when I can look at a new situation, knowing that the mistakes are necessary for my growth, I am able to separate the failures from who I am- from My Character. I no longer feel the stress of doing everything well, I am suddenly prepared for a turbulent learning curve- one that I won't survive without a few scrapes and fumbles. The Fool probably has a first aid kit in his pockets, ya think?
Welcome to Ace of Wands, a step into my next adventure.